Tonight when I went to eikaiwa
my old teacher was there
Little Miss Seaweed
Oh my goodness, I can't believe how much I missed her!!
She's this amazing person. So strange for a Japanese person. But I'm strange too so I think she's wonderful and normal.
With this great smile, and and always laughing and making strange noises. Telling weird stories and making jokes.
She has been in Germany this past... year and a half.
When I first came to Japan she sat next to me, and we talked and laughed and drank tea and ate sweets together.
Hopefully she will come back, to Japan, and to the same school, and sit next to me again. Actually talking with her tonight made me sad that I'm leaving.....IN A YEAR. WHAT.
But it would be a nice sort of circle to my time here.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Frown
BLARGH life got really lame all of a sudden >:( I've been feeling really crappy and lonely lately -- this past week at work was sort of heel-dragging and dull. I read a lot of Anna Karenina because I had so much time. But the book is electronic, so I can't see how many pages are left. WHEN WILL IT END ALREADY??
Anyway I thought Friday would be good because I could go to the Education Center to help put together the Summer edition of our "book full of suggestions about how to teach the children". Overall it was an OK time, but maybe my expectations were too high or something, because I was in a crappy mood the whole time... my main homey Dianne wasn't there, and I was the only person who brought a lunch, so I wound up sitting in the collating room by myself for lunch... until, thank god, Boss Victor showed up and talked with me and shared in my cucumber and cake. I'm thankful for that.
I blame the previous week , hormones, and the fact that I'm not really so tight with the folks there. It was like being alone in a crowd, like at work, except it was with English-speaking people, which somehow makes it much much worse.
Today dawned windy, and I was all optimistic. I had a friend coming in to enjoy a music concert with me, and we would drink some coffee and gossip happily and I could just put all this negative feeling behind me and all would be well. Optimistic (or more accurately, in a slightly better mood) I got many things accomplished this morning, and came home to do some housework and get ready for the afternoon evening.
And she cancelled on me -- or rather, was going to a different music concert with different people, and basically expected me to rework my plans and join up with them, instead of the other way around. Not to be a bitch, but I think I rearrange my life a lot for folks, and this was just... well... I can hardly justify this, I guess. We make plans, according to wisdom, with the expectation that they won't come to pass. This is typical. So I shouldn't be disappointed. I shouldn't be so angry that the only human interaction I've had today was with shop keepers. I should have gone out and made my own interactions. Damn her, it's a big pile of camels back straws and I don't even feel I have the right to get all shouty about it. I want to shout SO BAD.
Grr grr grr
It's so weird because it was actually a good day, and I got something nice done, and I'm technically happy with it, and the weather is great... but if it's all so good, why do I feel so lousy?
Anyway I thought Friday would be good because I could go to the Education Center to help put together the Summer edition of our "book full of suggestions about how to teach the children". Overall it was an OK time, but maybe my expectations were too high or something, because I was in a crappy mood the whole time... my main homey Dianne wasn't there, and I was the only person who brought a lunch, so I wound up sitting in the collating room by myself for lunch... until, thank god, Boss Victor showed up and talked with me and shared in my cucumber and cake. I'm thankful for that.
I blame the previous week , hormones, and the fact that I'm not really so tight with the folks there. It was like being alone in a crowd, like at work, except it was with English-speaking people, which somehow makes it much much worse.
Today dawned windy, and I was all optimistic. I had a friend coming in to enjoy a music concert with me, and we would drink some coffee and gossip happily and I could just put all this negative feeling behind me and all would be well. Optimistic (or more accurately, in a slightly better mood) I got many things accomplished this morning, and came home to do some housework and get ready for the afternoon evening.
And she cancelled on me -- or rather, was going to a different music concert with different people, and basically expected me to rework my plans and join up with them, instead of the other way around. Not to be a bitch, but I think I rearrange my life a lot for folks, and this was just... well... I can hardly justify this, I guess. We make plans, according to wisdom, with the expectation that they won't come to pass. This is typical. So I shouldn't be disappointed. I shouldn't be so angry that the only human interaction I've had today was with shop keepers. I should have gone out and made my own interactions. Damn her, it's a big pile of camels back straws and I don't even feel I have the right to get all shouty about it. I want to shout SO BAD.
Grr grr grr
It's so weird because it was actually a good day, and I got something nice done, and I'm technically happy with it, and the weather is great... but if it's all so good, why do I feel so lousy?
Friday, June 11, 2010
Deep
Hm new template designer. I don't know about that. But I'll probably have to try it out anyway.
1. Cookie Splash V.1, 2. Cookie splash! v6, 3. Cookie Splash II, 4. coffee splash
Like the Chinese fortune cookie paper on my wall says, "You tend to have deeper thoughts than you are able to express to others". It reminds me of why I was such a lousy student of philosophy. I could see both sides of the argument, and was never able to articulate myself. I couldn't stick to my guns because I didn't have a gun to stick to. And if I ever got passionate or felt injustice or worked out how the other guy was in the wrong, by the time I got around to figuring out how to express it, I had already seen the other side of the argument and decided it wasn't worth the fight.
Stupid Chinese fortune cookie! Sometimes I wish I was simple-minded.
1. Cookie Splash V.1, 2. Cookie splash! v6, 3. Cookie Splash II, 4. coffee splash
Like the Chinese fortune cookie paper on my wall says, "You tend to have deeper thoughts than you are able to express to others". It reminds me of why I was such a lousy student of philosophy. I could see both sides of the argument, and was never able to articulate myself. I couldn't stick to my guns because I didn't have a gun to stick to. And if I ever got passionate or felt injustice or worked out how the other guy was in the wrong, by the time I got around to figuring out how to express it, I had already seen the other side of the argument and decided it wasn't worth the fight.
Stupid Chinese fortune cookie! Sometimes I wish I was simple-minded.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Dark dark dark
This is not so serious... Serious stuff is over here.
But today had some non-serious points as well.
For example, someone asked me today what "Irresitiblement" meant.
(by Sylvie Vartan) but that's not the version I know. Actually, I'm listening to that version now, and I hate it. I like it by The Eccentric Opera.
They do it better. So there.
Um
actually
it's really weird to try and listen with the loud Awa Odori drums in the background.
Get out of my park!
It's as bad as the stupid black dog who barks EVERY DAMN MORNING at 5:30 while his owner chats with other dog owners at the foot of the footbridge. I hate that dog. I want him to shut up. I want his owner to sleep in and not take him out where he can bother people. People who are sleeping. Like me. I want him to fall in love with one of the other dogs so that he is too busy sniffing that dog's butt to bark.
I really like this song lately:
and the chorus tune in this one:
now you're a ghost!
But today had some non-serious points as well.
For example, someone asked me today what "Irresitiblement" meant.
(by Sylvie Vartan) but that's not the version I know. Actually, I'm listening to that version now, and I hate it. I like it by The Eccentric Opera.
They do it better. So there.
Um
actually
it's really weird to try and listen with the loud Awa Odori drums in the background.
Get out of my park!
It's as bad as the stupid black dog who barks EVERY DAMN MORNING at 5:30 while his owner chats with other dog owners at the foot of the footbridge. I hate that dog. I want him to shut up. I want his owner to sleep in and not take him out where he can bother people. People who are sleeping. Like me. I want him to fall in love with one of the other dogs so that he is too busy sniffing that dog's butt to bark.
I really like this song lately:
and the chorus tune in this one:
now you're a ghost!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Lately
The other day I made carrot cake and cream cheese frosting in my tiny microwave. YUM! It did indeed disturb me a little bit to enjoy so much raw butter and cream cheese (ew, when you think about it) but my goodness do I love carrot cake. I ate heaps, and that was after giving away 3 cakes to my eikaiwa students and my shamisen teacher. Cake diplomacy!!
Yesterday I finally sat down and went through my videos from China. They are pretty awesome, but unfortunately look terrible on youtube. I don’t understand this, because the quality isn’t bad to begin with. Perhaps I need to change it around before uploading.
Today at school I have two lessons; origami, and bingo. WHOA. In other words, reading practice, and number practice, hooray. But at the end of the first class, we all made origami wrestlers, and made them fight on cardboard box rings. You tap your fingers on the box to make them move (or if you’re a jerk, you slam your hand down hard and it pops your opponent into the air. HOORAY! VICTORY!!)
My fighter did alright at first, but then fell over and lost repeatedly. I bet you could play this on airplane tray tables quite easily. You could even do sumo purification with the airline meal salt packets, and make a rope ring out of paper napkins.
June is supposed to be the rainy season, but we haven’t seen much of that yet. Actually it’s been beautiful, James and I went to USJ this weekend and had absolutely perfect weather. I keep looking outside and seeing sunshine and fluffy clouds. I almost wish it would be rainy and miserable, so I wouldn’t be so cabin-feverish when stuck indoors.
Life is pretty easy-peasy at the moment. I have several projects going, some secret, some public, some long-term, some short-term. It’s nice to have a variety of things to focus on. One of them is doing a piano piece in public, the thought of which makes me nauseous, but I volunteered myself for it so I can’t really complain too much.
Yesterday I finally sat down and went through my videos from China. They are pretty awesome, but unfortunately look terrible on youtube. I don’t understand this, because the quality isn’t bad to begin with. Perhaps I need to change it around before uploading.
Today at school I have two lessons; origami, and bingo. WHOA. In other words, reading practice, and number practice, hooray. But at the end of the first class, we all made origami wrestlers, and made them fight on cardboard box rings. You tap your fingers on the box to make them move (or if you’re a jerk, you slam your hand down hard and it pops your opponent into the air. HOORAY! VICTORY!!)
My fighter did alright at first, but then fell over and lost repeatedly. I bet you could play this on airplane tray tables quite easily. You could even do sumo purification with the airline meal salt packets, and make a rope ring out of paper napkins.
June is supposed to be the rainy season, but we haven’t seen much of that yet. Actually it’s been beautiful, James and I went to USJ this weekend and had absolutely perfect weather. I keep looking outside and seeing sunshine and fluffy clouds. I almost wish it would be rainy and miserable, so I wouldn’t be so cabin-feverish when stuck indoors.
Life is pretty easy-peasy at the moment. I have several projects going, some secret, some public, some long-term, some short-term. It’s nice to have a variety of things to focus on. One of them is doing a piano piece in public, the thought of which makes me nauseous, but I volunteered myself for it so I can’t really complain too much.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Bah
I failed to make a lunch, because my sandwich break wouldn't fit in my lunch box. So I ate the sandwich for breakfast. Then I ruined 3 pairs of stockings and was late for school. HOORAY. I am skipping out of my Awa Odori rehearsal to take a mental health night.
Mental health night means doing the dishes and picking up the clothes I threw on the floor this morning. It also means doing music practice, and taking a bath, and watching Glee and Doctor Who. And eating sandwiches and cheese. And maybe just maybe, it will mean some arts and crafts.
But most of the time I am sure it will mean, as it usually does, that I will spend time doing nothing in particular, all the while wishing desperately that I was doing something else.
Mental health night means doing the dishes and picking up the clothes I threw on the floor this morning. It also means doing music practice, and taking a bath, and watching Glee and Doctor Who. And eating sandwiches and cheese. And maybe just maybe, it will mean some arts and crafts.
But most of the time I am sure it will mean, as it usually does, that I will spend time doing nothing in particular, all the while wishing desperately that I was doing something else.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Pah
I think I can relax today. I usually have classes, but maybe I don't....?
Last night I went to my eikaiwa, and realized that I got a bigger reaction for cutting my hair shorter than I did for the initial lop-10-inches-off short cut. I used my own scissors in the sink (there is hair everywhere despite cleaning attempts) and to me, it looks exactly the same but without the floppy "I'm Hanna Montana's TV brother" look. So, that's a bit strange.
I'm happy today because I get to use my new bento box for the first time. Since I bought it at least 3 weeks ago. The thing is, I am too powerful lazy to make lunch/buy lunch goods/be prepared. But today is different, today is a day of left-over sandwiches and adorable carrot cakes. And salad.
Doesn't sound like much, but it'll fill the box. And that's something.
Last night I went to my eikaiwa, and realized that I got a bigger reaction for cutting my hair shorter than I did for the initial lop-10-inches-off short cut. I used my own scissors in the sink (there is hair everywhere despite cleaning attempts) and to me, it looks exactly the same but without the floppy "I'm Hanna Montana's TV brother" look. So, that's a bit strange.
I'm happy today because I get to use my new bento box for the first time. Since I bought it at least 3 weeks ago. The thing is, I am too powerful lazy to make lunch/buy lunch goods/be prepared. But today is different, today is a day of left-over sandwiches and adorable carrot cakes. And salad.
Doesn't sound like much, but it'll fill the box. And that's something.
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